Straight from the horse's mouth... BtVS: Season 3

Here are some more quotes from my favorite TV show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They are divided up by episodes in chronological order.


You get your hopes all up and then you get a big fat raspberry and I feel bad. --Xander

It gives me a tingly feeling. --Snyder

Why do I have to be bait? I'm always bait. Why can't Willow be bait? --Cordelia

I just suck at undercover. --Buffy

Ow, my face! Do you have any idea how hard it is to glue that thing on? --Ken

Xander: I know what we need.
Oz: A vampire slayer.
Xander: The next best thing...bait. [referring to Cordy]

Xander: And what's with "come and get it, Big Boy?"
Willow: Well, the slayer always says some pun or witty play on words before she kills them. I think it throws the vampires off.

Buffy: This'll probably go faster if we split up.
Lily: Can I come with you?
Buffy: OK, where did I lose you on the whole splitting up thing?

Cordelia: Where do I hide?
Xander: You don't hide. You're bait. Go act baity.

[Buffy's Dream]
Buffy: How did you find me here?
Angel: If I was blind I would see you.
Buffy: Stay with me.
Angel: Forever. That's the whole point. I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me.

Dead Man's Party

Unbelievable. "Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead." Americans. --Giles

Nice pet, Giles. Don't you like anything regular? Golf? USA Today? Anything regular? --Cordelia

Welcome to the Hellmouth petting zoo. --Buffy

She doesn't want to talk about it, we don't want to talk about it. Why don't we just shut up and dance. --Xander

It looks dead, it smells dead, yet it's moving around. That's interesting. --Oz

Well, a gathering is...brie, mellow song stylings. Shindig...dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage. And hootenanny...well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny. --Oz

I wanted "Forest Pine" or "April Fresh", but Mom wanted "Dead Cat". --Buffy

Maybe I don't need to understand. Maybe I just need you to talk to me. --Willow

You can't just bury stuff, Buffy. It'll just come right back up to get you. --Xander

Cordy, get out of my shoes. --Buffy

This guy wobbles, but he won't fall down. --Xander

Generally speaking, when scary things get scared, not good. --Xander

Cordy: I'm the dip.
Xander: You gotta admire the purity of it.
Cordelia: What? Onion dip. Stirring, not cooking. It's what I bring.

Xander: Check it out. The Watcher's back on the clock. And just when you were thinking career change, maybe becoming a Looker or a Seer.
Giles: Thank you, Xander.

Oz: I'm gonna step in and be referee guy.
Willow: No, Oz, let it go. Talking doesn't help. We might as well try violence.
[Zombies burst through the fromt window.]
I was being sarcastic!

Giles: Cordelia, it's me! It's me!
Cordelia: How do we know it's really you and not zombie-Giles?
Giles: Cordelia, do stop being tiresome.
Cordelia: It's him.

Faith, Hope and Trick

So, I told him that I loved him, and I kissed him, and I killed him. --Buffy

Prepare to uncouple. --Oz

And they say young people don't learn anything in high school nowadays, but, um, I've learned to be afraid. --Xander

Cordelia: What is it with you and Slayers? Maybe I should dress up as one and put a stake to your throat.
Xander: Please God, don't let that be sarcasm.

Faith: Oh, it's boring. Way too stuffy for a guy like you.
Buffy: Let me just say this again. Giles, this is Faith. Faith, Giles.
Faith: I've seen him. If I'd known they came that young and cute, I would have requested a transfer.
Buffy: Raise your hand if "eww".
Giles: Well, um, leaving aside for a moment my, uh, youth and beauty...

Beauty and the Beasts

Great. Now I'm gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day. --Cordelia

Buffy: But, my favorite thing so far- he doesn't seem to be any kind of hell beast.
Faith: All men are beasts, Buffy.
Buffy: Okay, I was hoping that I wasn't gonna get that cynical 'til I was at least 40.


Ladies, gentlemen, spiney-headed-lookin' creatures...welcome to Slayerfest '98. --Mr. Trick

I suspect the, uh, finger food contains actual fingers. --Giles

I'm never gonna know if it's real between me and Xander or some temporary insanity that made me think I loved him. --Cordy

We're gonna get out of here and head back to the library where Giles and the rest of the weapons live. --Buffy

I know what you're up to. You think if you get me mad enough, I won't be so scared. And, hey, it's working! Where's a damn weapon? --Cordy

Buffy: You really love Xander?
Cordy: Well, he kinda grows on a chia pet.

Lyle: I'm gonna kill both you slayers for this. You hear me?
Cordelia: I hear you, you redneck moron. You got a dress that goes with that hat?
Lyle: I'm gonna...
Cordelia: Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch. Listen up needle brain. Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend.
Lyle: Wife!
Cordelia: Whatever. The point is that I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy is just the runner up. I'm the queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you?
Lyle: Later!

Band Candy

I'm supervised 24/7. It's like being in the Real World house...only real. --Buffy

“Kiss rocks”? Why would anyone want to kiss... Oh, wait. I get it. --Willow

Well, then let's do something. Let's find the demon and kick the crap out of it. --Giles

Trick: You and me, girl. There's high times ahead.
Buffy: They never just leave. They always gotta say something.

Buffy: We're not in the band.
Snyder: And if I would have handed you a trombone, then it would have been a problem. It's candy. Sell it.

Mrs. Summers: What would I do with 40 candy bars?
Buffy: You could hand them out at the gallery. Buy something Pre-Columbian, get a free cavity.

Mrs. Summers: Honey, don't you think Mr. Giles is monopolizing an awful lot of your time?
Buffy: And does he ever say he's sorry?

[after breaking into a store to steal some clothes for Joyce]
Giles: Ooh, Copper's got a gun. You'll never use it though man.
Cop: Will so!
Joyce: Ripper, be careful!
[Giles knocks out the cop]
Giles: Told 'em he'd never use it.
Joyce: You're so cool! You're like Burt Reynolds.

Buffy: So, Ethan, what are we playing? We're pretty much in a talk or bleed situation. Your call.
Giles: Hit him!
Ethan: I'd just like to point out that this wasn't my idea.
Buffy: Meaning?
Ethan: I'm subcontracting. It's Trick you want. I'm just helping him collect a tribute. For a demon.
Giles: He's lying. Go on, hit 'em!
Buffy: I don't think he is. And shut-up.
Giles: You're *my* Slayer. Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.
Buffy: Giles!

Buffy: Why do I put up with this?
Giles: Because you are the Chosen One…and because I just bought 20 Cocoa-Rific candy bars.
Buffy: You're just doing this to take funny pictures of me.


Giles: Be quiet.
[Buffy shuts up, shocked.]
Giles: I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer... what would be the point? Nor shall I remind you that you've jeopardized the lives of all that you hold dear by harboring a known and vicious murderer. But sadly, I must remind you that Angel tortured me for hours...for pleasure. You should have told me he was alive, but you didn't. You have no respect for me or the job I perform.

Buffy: Interesting lady. Can we kill her?
Giles: The Council might frown upon that.

Angel: Once you put it on the glove can never be removed.
Buffy: So, no touching. Kinda like us.

Post: In fact is that there has been talk in the council that you have become a bit too American.
Giles: Me?
Buffy: Him?

Buffy: You would just love an excuse to hurt him, wouldn't you?
Xander: I don't need an excuse. I think lots of dead people actually constitutes a reason.
Buffy: Right. This is all nobility. This has nothing to do with jealousy.
Cordelia: Hello, Miss Not-Over-Yourself-Yet?
Buffy: Don't you start with me.
Willow: Giles, no one's doing the "I" statements.
Giles: That's enough.

Buffy: I better hurry before somebody figures out what we're doing.
Angel: What are we doing?
Buffy: Training...and almost kissing. Sorry. It's just habit. Bad, bad be broken.
Angel: It's hard.
Buffy: It's not hard. Cold turkey, it's the key to quitting. You think they make a patch for this?

Lover's Walk

Okay. This will make me feel better, right? You know, I always consider myself a good person. Floss, do my homework, never cheat. But lately, and please don't judge me on this, but I want you to be the first to know that, that...there's a demon behind you. --Willow

If at first you don't succeed, I'll kill him and you'll try again. --Spike

Oh, saw the spell. Your friends are at the factory. I'm really glad I came here, you know. I've been all wrong-headed about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back. I just gotta be the man I was...the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I should have done in the first place. I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, and torture her 'til she likes me again. --Spike

Oz: It's Willow. She's nearby.
Cordelia: What? You can smell her? She doesn't even wear perfume.
Oz: She's afraid.
Cordelia: Oh my this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing.
Oz: I really agree.

Spike: We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times. You know, he begged for mercy, and that only made her bite harder.
Buffy: I guess you had to be there.

Xander: What’s classier than bowling?
Cordelia: Apart from everything ever?

Giles: Here. I suspect your mother will want to put it on the refrigerator.
Buffy: Yeah, she saw these scores and her head spun around and exploded.
Giles: I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?

Willow: Buffy! Hey, did you get your SAT scores?
Xander: And from the look on your face, I suspect that we'll be manning the drive-through side by side.

Spike: What do you know? It's your fault, the both of you. She belongs with me. I'm nothing without her.
Buffy: Yeah, that I'll have to agree with. You're pathetic, you know that? You're not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser.
Spike: Yeah, you're one to talk.
Buffy: Meaning?
Spike: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.
Buffy: I don't know what you're talking about.
Spike: Oh, yeah, you're just friends.
Angel: That's right.
Spike: You're *not* friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

Angel: Hey, I was wondering when you were coming.
Buffy: I'm not coming back. We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike for some reason. What I want from you I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore. So, I'm gonna go.
Angel: I don't accept that.
Buffy: You have to.
Angel: Look...there's gotta be some way we can still see each other.
Buffy: There is...tell me that you don't love me.

The Wish

Bored now. --Vamp Willow

I don't play well with others. --Buffy

I'm gonna grab hold of that crazy little thing called life and make it do its crazy heal-y thing. --Xander

Angel: (weakly) It's you. I mean... you don't remember. How could you?
Buffy: How did you know my name?
Angel: I waited. I waited here for you. But you never... I was supposed to help you.
Buffy: You were gonna help me.
Angel: The Master rose. He let me live... to punish me. I kept hoping maybe you'd come. My destiny.
Buffy: Is this a get-in-my-pants thing? You guys in Sunnydale talk like I'm the Second Coming.

Buffy: World is what it is. We fight. We die. Wishing doesn’t change that.
Giles: I have to believe in a better world.
Buffy: Go ahead. I have to live in this one.


You ever have that dream where you're in a play and it's the middle of the play and you really don't know your lines and you kinda don't know the plot? --Oz

Not everyone worships Santa! --Willow

Angel: It told me to kill you, you were in the dream, you know. It told me to lose my soul with you and become a monster again.
Buffy: I know what it told you, what does it matter?
Angel: Because I wanted to, because I want you so badly. I wanna take comfort in you, and I know it'll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn't care.

Angel: I was a man once.
The First Evil: Oh yes, and what a man you were!

Angel: Am I a thing worth saving, huh? Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone!
Buffy: What about me? What about...Angel I love you so much...and I've tried to make you go away. I killed you and it didn't help... And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard... that you can hurt me so much! I know everything you've done because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. But I don't. I can't.

The First Evil: Hmm. You think you can fight me? I'm not a demon, little girl. I am something that you can't even conceive. The First Evil. Beyond sin, beyond death. I am the thing the darkness fears. You'll never see me, but I am everywhere. Every being, every thought, every drop of hate.
Buffy: Alright, I get it. You're evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?
The First Evil: Angel will be dead by sunrise. Your Christmas... will be his wake.
Buffy: No.
The First Evil: You have no idea what you're dealing with.
Buffy: Lemme guess. Is it... evil?

Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once...let me be strong.
Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together. But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can.


Mom, dead people are talking to you. Do the math. --Buffy

Come and fill me with your dark, naughty evil! --Willow

Did that sentence just make some sense that I'm not in on? --Buffy

I'm supposed to mess up. I'm a teenager, remember? --Willow

I'm a rebel. I'm having a rebellion. --Willow

It's fruitless. No fruit for Buffy. --Buffy

Just so we're clear, you guys know you're nuts, right? --Oz

Makes me glad my mother doesn't know about my extracurricular activities. Or my curricular activities. Or the fact of my activitiness in general. --Willow

Just how is, um, Blood Rites and Sacrifices appropriate material for a public school library? Chess Club branching out? --Principal Snyder

"Frisky Watchers Chat Room." Why, Giles! --Xander

That's not why we fight. We do it 'cause there're things worth fighting for. --Angel

Joyce: Well, it's uh, it's been a while.
Giles: Right. Not since, uh, not since... not for a while.
Sheila Rosenburg: There's a rumor going around, Mr. Giles.
Giles: Rumor, about us? About what?

Willow: Another step and you'll all feel my power.
Buffy: What are you gonna do? Float a pencil at them?
Willow: It's a really big power.

Cordelia: I came over here to tell Buffy to stop this craziness, and found you all unconscious--again. How many times have you been knocked out, anyway? I swear, one of these days you're gonna wake up in a coma!
Giles: Wake up in a coma? Oh, never mind. We need to save Buffy from Hansel and Gretel.
Cordelia: Now, let's be clear. The brain damage happened before I hit you.

Giles: (to the computer) Session interrupted? Who said you could interrupt, you stupid, useless fad! No, I said fad and I'll say it again!
Xander: At that point I will become frightened.

Buffy: We need to get some information.
Giles: Yeah, well somebody else do it. This thing's locked me out.
Xander: Well, if you wouldn't yell at it...


Ice is cool. It's water, but it's not. --Oz

You could never be dull or boring, not even if you tried. --Angel

The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror. --Buffy

Xander: Give you a hand with that, little lady?
Buffy: You're loving this far too much..
Xander: Admit it. Sometimes you just need a big strong... Uh, Will? You wanna give me a hand?
Buffy: Actually, I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. He likes it when I call him "Daddy".
Angel: Huh, your father. It is your father, right?

Giles: This one?
Buffy: Amethyst.
Giles: Used for?
Buffy: Breath mints?
Giles: Charm bags, money spells, and for cleansing one's aura.
Buffy: Okay, so how do you know if one's aura is dirty? Somebody comes by with a finger and writes "wash me" on it?

The Zeppo

I'm wheel man. --Xander

I love you. Nothing can change that. Not even death. --Angel

They are probably loaded with supplies. Gotta think. I can't believe I had sex! Ok, bombs. All-righty, dead guys with bombs! --Xander

It must be hard when all your friends have, like superpowers. Slayers, werewolves, witches, vampires, and you're like this little nothing. You must feel like Jimmy Olson. --Cordelia to Xander

Bad Girls

Faith and I got into a serious party situation. --Buffy

You think too much. --Faith

You're not afraid of little me, are ya? --Buffy to Angel

Wesley: Are you insane? Don't provoke them!
Giles: Why not? They're going to torture us to death anyway.

Cordelia: That's so cute…planning life as a loser. Most people just turn out that way, but you're really taking charge.
Xander: The comedy stylings of Miss Cordelia Chase everyone. Who incidentally won't be needing a higher education when she markets her own very successful line of hooker-wear.

Wesley: I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course.
Giles: No danger of finding those here.
Wesley: Vampires?
Giles: Controlled circumstances.

Buffy: (about Wesley) Is he evil?
Giles: Not in the strictest sense of the...

Buffy: Wait! Stop! Think!
Faith: No! No! No!

Wesley: Buffy, you will go to the Gleave's family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.
Buffy: I will?
Wesley: Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says "please." And afterwards I get a cookie.


I hope evil takes Mastercard. --Faith

You're still not seeing the big picture, B. Something made us different. We're warriors, we're built to kill. --Faith

Buffy: But it does not mean that we get to pass judgment on people like we're better than everybody else!
Faith: We are better!


I know Faith's not going to be on the cover of Sanity Fair, but she had it rough. --Buffy

That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil... and skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay. --Willow

It’s like fun, only boring. --Faith

OK, that's a little blacker than I like my arts. --Willow

I believe these chicken feet are mine! --Willow

Now if you'll excuse me...I have someone else's homework to do. --Willow

Well I'm eating this banana...lunch-time be damned! --Willow

You didn't happen to take a lot of drugs, did you? --Willow

Between me and my evil self, I've got double guilt coupons. I see now where the path of vice leads. She messed up everything she touched. I don't ever wanna be like that. --Willow

I don't like that you dare question me. Maybe I'll have my minions take you out back and kill you horribly. --Willow (trying to impersonate Vamp Willow)

Anya: What a day. Gimme a beer.
Bartender: I.D. [Anya gives him a look; he repeats] I.D.
Anya: I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a friggin' beer!
Bartender: I.D.
Anya: Gimme a Coke.

Xander: This isn't real.
Buffy: I can't feel anything. Arms, legs, anything.
Giles: She was truly the finest of all of us.
Xander: Way better than me.
Giles: Much, much better.

Xander: Will, we saw you at the Bronze. A vampire.
Willow: I'm not a vampire!
Buffy: You are. I mean, you were. Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?
Giles: Well, uh, something... something very strange is happening.
Xander: Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?

Buffy: I told you. Old Reliable.
Willow: Oh, thanks. Old Reliable; there's a sexy nickname.
Buffy: I didn't mean it as...
Willow: No, it's fine. That's me. Old Reliable.
Xander: She just means, like the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.
Willow: That's Old Faithful.
Xander: Isn't that the dog that the guy had to shoot...
Willow: (growling) That's Old YELLER.
Buffy: Xander, I beg you not to help me.

Willow: This is creepy. I don't like the thought that there's a vampire out there that looks like me.
Xander: Not looks like, is.
Buffy: It's exactly like you, Will, every detail. Except for your not being a dominatrix... as far as we know.
Willow: Oh, right. Me and Oz play mistress of pain every night.
Xander: Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?
Buffy: Oh yeah.

Wesley: Back, creature of the night! Leave this place!
Vamp Willow: Don't wanna. Whatever.

Willow: It's a little binding. I guess vampires really don't have to breathe. Gosh, look at those.
Giles: [cough] Uh, oh yes.


Demons after money...what ever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore. --Giles

There's more than one way to skin a cat, and I happen to know that's factually true. -- Mayor Wilkins

Again! See? No standards! Any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt! --Giles

There's a word for people like you, Faith. LOSER. --Buffy

Faith: Why are you getting so strung up for B?
Buffy: Why are your lips still moving F?
Faith: Did I just hear a threat?
Buffy: Would you like to?
Faith: Wow. Do you think you can take me?
Buffy: Yeah.

Angel: I know how hard it was for you.
Buffy: I really doubt that.

Angel: I don't need to see movies to get worked up. Just being around you does that just fine. It doesn't mean that I'm gonna lose control or I'm gonna be frustrated around you. It feels nice, just to feel.
Buffy: It doesn't drive you crazy...when we're close?
Angel: Watch this. (They kiss romantically.)

Angel: I never wanted it to go that far.
Buffy: I know that. It's not even a question of that. It's just...after...I need a little bit of a break. Please?
Angel: You still my girl?
Buffy: Always.


What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help! 4 times 5 is thirty. 5 times 6 is thirty-two. Naked girls. Naked women. Naked Buffy. Oh stop me... --Xander

I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me, and she becomes me. I cease to exist. No one else exists either. Buffy is all of us. We think. Therefore, she is. --Oz

Hey. I won't let anything happen to you if I can help it. No matter what, I'll always be with you. Hey, I'll love you...even if you're covered with slime. --Angel to Buffy

I've lived a long time, Buffy, and I'm past that. I've been with dozens of girls like her. More. And there's no 243 years I've loved exactly one person. --Angel

Giles: I've cross-referenced...
Xander: He's a cross-referencing fool.

[Buffy confronting a rifle-wielding Jonathan in the clock tower]
Jonathan: Get away from me.
Buffy: Ok, Jonathan you wanna point that somewhere else?
Jonathan: Don't you try and stop me.
Buffy: No. No, no stopping...just here for the view. Hey, look...City Hall.
Jonathan: Go away.
Buffy: Never gonna happen.
Jonathan: You think i won't use this?
Buffy: I don't know Jonathan, I just--
[interrupted by Jonathan]
Jonathan: STOP... doing that!
Buffy: Doing what?
Jonathan: Stop saying my name like we're friends. We're not friends. You all think I'm an idiot. A short idiot.
Buffy: I don't...I don't think about you much at all. Nobody here really does...bugs you, doesn't it? You have all this pain and all these feelings and nobody's really paying attention.
Jonathan: You think I just want attention?
Buffy: No, i think you're up in a clock tower with a high powered rifle 'cause you just want to blend in. Believe it or not Jonathan, I understand about the pain.
Jonathan: [sarcastically] Oh...right. Because the burden of being beautiful and athletic, that's a crippler.
Buffy: You know what? I was wrong. You are an idiot. My life happens on occasion suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. And it isn't just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they're too busy with their own. The beautiful ones...the popular ones...
[Buffy walks over to the window to look at the people.]
...the guys that pick on you...everyone...
[Jonathan joins her.]
If you could hear what they're feeling...the loneliness...the confusion. It looks quiet down there. It's not. It's defeaning...


Why couldn't you have been dealing drugs like normal people? --Principal Snyder

The mayor probably doesn't even know what a lasting relationship is. Probably the only lasting relationship he's ever had is with... evil. Big, stupid evil guy.  --Buffy

Wesley: (to Buffy) You cannot leave Sunnydale! With the power invested in me by the Council, I forbid it!
Giles: Oh, yes, that should settle it.

Buffy: But you…I can't believe you got into Oxford! Willow! It's pretty exciting.
Oz: There's some deep academia there.
Buffy: That's where they make Gileses!
Willow: I know. I could learn, and have scones.

[Buffy fights a vamp and pushes it into Angel (accidenta
lly), which knocks him down]
Buffy: Sorry honey!
Angel: It’s okay.
[Angel stakes his vampire and Buffy does the same with hers]
Buffy: Well there’s something you don’t see everyday...unless, of course, you're me.
Angel: That was bracing...wanna do another sweep?
Buffy: That’s what I live for, sad to say.
Angel: You too tired?
Buffy: No, it’s never take me anyplace new.
Angel: What about the fire demon nest in the cave by the beach...thought that was a nice change of pace.
Buffy: So this is our future? This is how we’re going to spend our nights when I’m fifty and you're... the same age as you are now?
[vampire growls somewhere around them, off screen]
Angel: Let’s just get you to fifty.
Buffy: Liking that plan.

The Prom

He's 243 years old, he doesn't exactly get the prom. --Buffy

I've been thinking... about our future. And the more I do, the more I feel like us, you and me being together, is unfair to you. --Angel

Every now and then people surprise you. --Buffy

Good. Because when it comes to you, Angel, she's just like any other young woman in love. You're all she can see of tomorrow. But I think we both know that there are some hard choices ahead. If she can't make them, you're gonna have to. I know you care about her. I just hope you care enough. --Joyce

I think horrible is still coming. Right now, it's worse. Right now, I'm just trying to keep from dying. I can't breathe, Will. I feel like I can't breathe. --Buffy

I love you, Xander. I'll never leave you. --Xander

And I shall be wearing pink taffeta, as chenille will not go with my complexion. Can we please talk about the Ascension? --Giles

Oh! I’m a nametag person. Don’t leave that out. --Cordelia

And let's not forget the fact that any moment of true happiness will turn you evil. I mean, come on. What kind of a life can you offer her? I don't see a lot of Sunday picnics in the offing. I see skulking in the shadows, hiding from the sun. She's a blossoming young girl and you want to keep her from the life she should have until it has passed her by. My God! I think that's a little selfish. Is that what you came back from Hell for? Is that your greater purpose? --Mayor

Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you. --Buffy

Angel: Don't.
Buffy: Don’t what? Don’t love you? I’m sorry. You know what? I didn’t know that I got a choice in that.

Buffy: I didn't think you'd come.
Angel: It's a big night. I didn't want to miss it.

We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you, but that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that Sunnydale High isn't like other High Schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here. But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it! Most of the people here have been saved by you or helped by you at one time or another. We are proud to say that the class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any class in Sunnydale history! And we know at least part of that is due to you. And the senior class offers its thanks and gives you this: it has written on it "Buffy Summers, Class Protector"! --Jonathan

Anya: You know, you can laugh, but I have witnessed a millenium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species. And I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.
Xander: Then why are you talking to me?
Anya: I don't have a date for the prom.
Xander: Well, gosh. I wonder why not? It couldn't have anything to do with your sales pitch.
Anya: Men are evil. Will you go with me?
Xander: One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which.

Buffy: So it was blue and sort of short?
Willow: Not too short. Medium. And it had this weird sort of fringy stuff on its arms.
Giles: What's that, a demon?
Buffy: A prom dress. That Will was thinking of getting. Can't you ever get your mind out of the Hellmouth?

Giles: You did good work tonight, Buffy.
Buffy: And I got a little toy surprise.

Wesley: I'd like your opinion. While the last thing I wish to do is model bad behavior in front of impressionable youth, I wonder if asking Miss Chase to dance...
Giles: For god's sake, man, she's 18! And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you, and stop fluttering about!
Wesley: Right, then. Thanks for that.

Giles: (about her breakup with Angel) I don't really know what to say. Um, I understand that this sort of thing requires ice cream of some kind.
Buffy: Ice cream will come. First I want to take out psycho boy.
Giles: You sure?
Buffy: Great thing about being a Slayer? Kicking ass is comfort food.

Graduation Day

Yes. Men like sports. They like to watch the action movie. They eat of the beef and they enjoy to look at the bosoms. --Xander

Why does he have to leave the country? I mean, you got fired and you still hang around like a big loser. Why can't he? --Cordelia

You did it. [punches Buffy.] You killed me. Still won't help your boy, though. Shoulda been there, B. Quite a ride. --Faith

Must go attend to Wesley. See if he's still whimpering. --Giles

I'm not going to say good-bye. --Angel

I feel wicked stupid in this. --Faith

Scar tissue. It fades. It all fades. --Faith

Buffy: My God, he's going to do the entire speech.
Willow: Man, just ascend already.
Buffy: Evil.

Xander: Here's your coffee, brewed from the finest Columbian lighter fluid.
Giles: Thank you. (takes a drink) Horrible.
Xander: Aren't you supposed to be drinking tea, anyway?
Giles: Tea is soothing. I wish to be tense.
Xander: OK, but you're destroying a perfectly good cultural stereotype here.

Giles: Faith has you at a disadvantage, Buffy.
Buffy: 'Cause I'm not crazy, or 'cause I don't kill people?
Giles: Both, actually.

Xander: I don't want to lose you.
Buffy: I won't get hurt.
Xander: That's not what I mean.

Giles: There's a certain dramatic irony attached to all this. A synchronicity that borders on predestination, one might say.
Buffy: Fire bad. Tree pretty.

Cordelia: That was the most fun you can have without having any fun.
Willow: What about the part where we kicked some demon ass? I didn't hate that.

Buffy: You said I was just like you...that I was holding it in.
Faith: Ready to cut loose?
Buffy: Try me.
Faith: Give us a kiss.

Oz: Guys take a moment to deal with this. We survived.
[Xander nods.]
Buffy: It was a hell of a battle.
Oz: Not the battle. High school.
[They all look quietly at the school and listen to the crickets chirping.]
Oz: We're taking a moment...
[Willow and Buffy get up from the bench. Oz looks at Cordy.]
...and we're done.

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