Actual Answering Machine Answers Recorded And Verified
By The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers
1. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons
is why were not here. So, leave a message.
2. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didnt lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, dont worry, I have plenty of money.
3. Hi. Now you say something.
4. Hi, Im not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
5. Hello. I am Davids answering machine. What are you?
6. Hello! If you leave a message, Ill call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, Ill call sooner!
7. Hi! Johns answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and Ill stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
8. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If youre still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
9. This is not an answering machine. This is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and Ill think about returning your call.
10. Hi. Im probably home, Im just avoiding someone I dont like. Leave me a message, and if I dont call back, its you.
11. Hi, this is George. Im sorry I cant answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
12. If you are a burglar, then were probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and cant come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably arent home and its safe to leave a message.
13. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
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