Bumper Stickers


***************Bumper Stickers I'd Like to See**************

∑ EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
∑ "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
∑ The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
∑ Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
∑ He who laughs last thinks slowest!
∑ Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
∑ A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
∑ Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
∑ Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
∑ I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
∑ Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
∑ Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
∑ Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
∑ We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
∑ All generalizations are false, including this one.
∑ "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
∑ I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
∑ Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
∑ Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
∑ What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
∑ Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
∑ Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
∑ You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me.
∑ The Earth is full--go home.
∑ I have the body of a god...buddha.
∑ This would be really funny if it weren’t happening to me.
∑ Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
∑ The face is familiar but I can’t quite remember my name.
∑ Illiterate? Write for help.
∑ I haven’t lost my mind, it’s backed up on disk somewhere.
∑ Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
∑ Boldly Going Nowhere.
∑ How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?




**Womenís Bumper Stickers**

1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
2. GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
3. IF THEY DONíT HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AINíT GOING.
4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.
6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. . . SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
7. DONíT TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
10. IíM OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.
11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?
12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.
13. AND YOUR POINT IS...?
14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
15. OF COURSE I DONíT LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
19. IíM ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WONíT GO AWAY?
21. SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. IíM NOT.
23. IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, IíM FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.
24. DONíT UPSET ME! IíM RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.








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